Clever responses to CC declines

[Cartographer]

Clever responses to declines (author unknown)


1. Nice

" That happened to me once before i may be over my limit for the day... well gimme that one back (your right stick hand out to psychologically pressure them to give it back) and try this one" (get card back) "well I guess my wife/husband/girlfriend/boyfriend/friends monkeys uncles cousin has it. Leave this here for 5 minutes ill be right back.

2. Logical

"I had the same problem earlier and when i called they said it has something to do with the cards they sent out when i got mine... there sending me another one but said it depended on what type of terminal the retailer uses.... ill just wait till i get the new card and come back later (under breathe.. "god dammit motherfucking piece of shit HELL") (smile and leave)

3. Annoyed

"you?ve got to be kidding me! After ALL the hassle ive been through with those damned credit card people and NOW this AGAIN!!! Just gimme the damn card back im gonna cancel the damn thing and then ill be back dammit (sound angry and use damn alot)"

4. Paranoid and bipolar

"OH NO!!! SOMEONE HAS BEEN USING MY CARD!!! OH MY GOD WHAT AM I GONNA DO!!! GIMME THAT BACK ITS PROBABLY ONE OF YOUR EMPLOYEES ANYWAY!!! OH NO OH NO OH NO I SAW A SHOW ON CNN ABOUT THIS KIND OF THING MY CREDIT IS GONNA BE RUINED!!!

5. IRATE

"you son of a BITCH... how DARE you say my card has to be VERIFIED i KNOW there?s enough FUCKING credit on the GOD DAMN CARD IM A DOCTOR YOU IMPOTENT PIECE OF DOG SHIT... Ill have your job for this you puny miniscule pre pubescent FUCK! GIMME THAT GOD DAMNED CARD BEFORE I SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS!!!! Its ALWAYS SOMETHING... ALWAYS ... if its not the Porsche throwing a rod its the Mercedes leaking oil... if its not the WIFE FUCKING THE POOL BOY ITS THE WIFE FUCKING MY GOD DAMNED WORTHLESS BROTHER!!!! FUCK IT ... JUST GIMME THAT CARD BACK AND EAT A DICK...SHIT!!!!!!!!

6. Honest

"well that would probably be the credit card company telling you the card is stolen bro... Im surprised its lasted this long.. haha call them and see what they say.. tell them i left or some shit... yeah the person that owns this card is up shit creek without a raft to float on if you know what i mean... haha well i guess ill be back when i get another one..oh.. no i dont want it back dog just keep it leave it for some dumbass to find and try and use it... boy wont he be surprised"